Lazy

If you follow my blog, you’ve already noticed that I make a lot of promise and declarations. They don’t always pan out, and I often come on here and say when they don’t and why. I used to think that it was a lack of motivation, but that isn’t it. I really want to change my life and do better. I burn inside when I look at my alarm telling me to get up and get something done that I want to do, but instead I stay where I am: cozy on the couch.

I’ve already explained in the past that I lack discipline, but I have to confront that the root of the issue is that I’m lazy. I really prefer loafing around to making life changes. I find every opportunity to preserve my energy, and zero opportunities to go after what I want. I’m a couch potato with a lot of dreams and ambitions and zero follow through because I love to watch television and I am easily distracted by TikTok. But, I want to be better. I do! I’m not going to make any promises here, not this time. But, I am going to say that I’m trying.

Part of the problem is also the SADs and anxiety. It’s been hitting me pretty badly lately. That can’t be the whole excuse though because before my brain plague came back I was already slacking. I’m trying meditation and positive thinking. I’m going to read some books on habit. And, most importantly I’m going to try. And I’m going to not be so hard on myself because that just makes the depression worse, even though my intention is to hold myself accountable, it just makes me feel like a failure.

Anybody else get lazy? Feeling sad? We’re in this together! We’re going to make it through and achieve our dreams.