Noticing the indent in the mattress in the shape of my body as I rise to the door The foam isn’t memory, just a representation of the mental state of me My voice echoes the creak of the wood under my feet Before the floor eveng gets a chance to speak Activities of the day … Continue reading Am I Stuck?
Stuck in a Rut. Edge of the Abyss.|Semi-Employed
A little about the frustration of uncertainty while job hunting.
What Am I Doing?
What am I doing with my life?
Not Who I Am
I wish that vodka tasted like water Be easier to drown the sorrows I like that whiskey taste like pain A reminder that joy is borrowed I don’t drink as much as I write I do I don’t mean to seem so downtrodden Because most times the opposite’s true But when writing the happiness … Continue reading Not Who I Am
Things have been feeling really intense lately. Up in the air, no sign of direction. This is a place that I know very well. This uncertain, anxious, staring into the unknown kind of place. A part of it feels like failure because it means that I'm not doing what I think that I should be. … Continue reading Lately…
It’s cold outside this liquor store. My ride is 10 minutes away, so: I wait and I freeze as I stare at McDonald’s, Chinese and GNC across the way from me. An emergency vehicle parks to my left Warm in his car probably considering me for a theft. Because I’m alone and I’m black and … Continue reading Liquor Store
Stream of Conscious
I don't always feel like writing. That makes me feel guilty. I can't tell if it's legitimate exhaustion or man-made. I pray that God returns my motivation. I think of returning to therapy. I wonder if I should call my uncle. Is this stream of conscious shit interesting to anyone?
Itches that aren't there False steps instill fear It's minor, but still clear OCD
I feel full of ideas with no follow through. Everyday, I wonder when I'm going to make a move. My eyes are filled with tears at the ready. The pills and the pride keep me from breaking. I'm not sure how much longer they can keep gripping. I'm bursting at the seams; my mind is … Continue reading Mind. Hands.
A little musing on some weekend choices.