Liquor Store

It’s cold outside this liquor store. My ride is 10 minutes away, so: I wait and I freeze as I stare at McDonald’s, Chinese and GNC across the way from me. An emergency vehicle parks to my left Warm in his car probably considering me for a theft. Because I’m alone and I’m black and … Continue reading Liquor Store →

Sleep

I think about writing my book. I think about quitting my job. I think about running away. Instead, I go to sleep.

Stream of Conscious

I don't always feel like writing. That makes me feel guilty. I can't tell if it's legitimate exhaustion or man-made. I pray that God returns my motivation. I think of returning to therapy. I wonder if I should call my uncle. Is this stream of conscious shit interesting to anyone?

Setraline HCl 100mg

The milk chocolate is bitter in my mouth My mother’s love is hard to go down Music is off beat and baseless Bad moods in dark rooms I try hard to repress Nothing connects my brain is a fog I’m frustrated I cry cuz everything I feel seems wrong Nerve endings are shattered there’s no … Continue reading Setraline HCl 100mg →

God

I have found religion in recent days The path there was long and had never been paved Baptized as a child but doubt hid his call Unwilling to trust in stories of fear and falls My religion is intention and has no formal bounds I see God in cold breezes and the sun through the … Continue reading God →

OCD

Itches that aren't there False steps instill fear It's minor, but still clear OCD

Nights

My body moves easily to the beat People gravitate, but I know the encounter is fleeting I expect no more, but it's a blow to the ego Sweat envelopes my body and a hand's on my waist I move with purpose now, without a glimpse of the face The event is symbiotic, the atmosphere hypnotic, … Continue reading Nights →

Mind. Hands.

I feel full of ideas with no follow through. Everyday, I wonder when I'm going to make a move. My eyes are filled with tears at the ready. The pills and the pride keep me from breaking. I'm not sure how much longer they can keep gripping. I'm bursting at the seams; my mind is … Continue reading Mind. Hands. →

Try to Sleep

There's a new level of loneliness that the song gives me. Something the drinking started. Something from watching people go. Something from getting no calls. The words are so specific, but the feeling is so universal. I want to die. I want to live harder. I want to feel people. I want to hurt. I … Continue reading Try to Sleep →

Sadness

Songs affect me more when I’ve been drinking, Especially when alone. I’m finding that now. Sadness that I’ve never felt. It’s like I can never escape it. No matter the drugs, no matter the time. It’s in the back of my mind.